Today’s burpees were a total mental battle. Not sure if it was because I’d only slept around 4 hrs, or if it was because I took a call right as I was warming up and ended up on the phone for an hour, or if it was just purely my own self sabotage, but I just didn’t want to do them today once I got going.
I had my music blasting – I love to do burpees (and running) to trance music from the 90’s to early 00’s. Usually one of my Ministry of Sound or Gatecrasher albums. I was all warmed up (again) and ready to go. After 7 I thought “ugh these are tough today” after 15 I actually stopped and had an argument with myself in my head.
Some of my excuses not to continue were:
“You will burn yourself out before the crossfit class you have in an hour”
“You can totally do them after Crossfit at the box”
“You’re just too tired for this today, you can make it up tomorrow”
“Maybe you could do them at work, or what about when you get home at 1am?”
Ha! Can you believe my sneaky brain? Like I’m going to drop and do 100 burpees at 1am! I even stopped the timer and paced a couple of times while doing this. Weighing the pros and cons in my mind.
I’ll admit it. I almost gave in and walked away. But I didn’t. Something, somewhere deep inside knew that if I didn’t do them right then, it would be the beginning of the end. So I told myself – let’s just get to 30 at the very least and then you can finish later.
Then I decided “ok just 20 more, you can absolutely get 20 more then you are half done”. I’d stop in between these sets of 20 and still have to convince myself to keep going. I got to 60 and figured “I may as well just keep going”.
70 – “surely I could stop here and do 30 at the box right? Nope! Get your ass back down and jump back up!”
77 – “my arms, my legs, they hurt. Move your ass Mandy!”
80 – “ok just another 20, I’ve got this”.
87 – “why do I keep stopping?? just MOVE!!”
93 – “are you kidding me right now? Don’t you dare think about stopping!”
97 – “MOVE IT!!”
100! – “I made it!! I actually did it! You totally rock for doing that and I’m proud of you!!”
I am so very glad that I decided to push through the mental blocks, if I hadn’t I would have felt awful about it all day. I didn’t press continue on the timer so don’t know what the time was. The time wasn’t important today, I just wanted to get through this even if it took me half an hour.
I’m sure this won’t be the first time I encounter this over the coming weeks, but I have this here to remind me that I can absolutely make it through it no matter how much kicking and screaming my brain is doing. Also, maybe I should check if talking to myself this much is normal? 🙂